Usually, I can take her controlling my life, and telling me what I can and cannot do. But when she goes as far as controlling my life once I've achieved freedom [in about four years], goes out of line.
I, being the "alternative" person that I am, like piercings and tattoos. I like the concept of expressing art on your body. And I don't care if I'm an old, wrinkly woman with saggy tattoos and huge holes in my body. Because I'll have the memory of what it was once like, and nothing can take that away from me. Because I could, by then, say that I've lived the way that I want to live. Because it's self-expression and individuality, and I can say that I've tackled that over and over with every metal bar through my nose, every second it took to for the ink to enter my blood, and every photograph of it.
So here's the point: I've just had a lovely conversation with my mother. She said that if I were to get any piercing on my face, or any kind of tattoo, I would not be accepted into the family. Inside, I was screaming "FUCK YOU I will do as I please when I'm 18. And you are powerless to stop it." But, I kept it inside, and even then, I was giving her "attitude".
If only she knew.
So . . .
Dear Mom,
As an inquiry to your ever-irritating speech that was produced just minutes ago, I ask you this: When I show up one day with a piercing, or a tattoo, or hell, BOTH, will I be kicked out? Would you disown your own daughter for expressing herself? Probably. So I leave you with this (and no, it's not all spite): I will get a dragon tattooed on my right shoulder, I will get a HUGE pair of angel wings tattooed on my back, I will get a bunch of little symbols elsewhere, and I will get a spectum piercing IF I PLEASE. I will have people take nude photos of me to submit onto suicidegirls.com. I will dye my hair every colour you could possibly imagine. I will continue to practice Satanism. And I will be disowned. And I will not care.
Have fun ignoring me.
Love, Natalia
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